I forgot what the prompt was in art therapy, but it was something with what your past self would think of you now. At least that’s how I interpreted it.

On the right you can see my „now“. That version of myself that is more mature and starts to accept their feelings and who they are. They realised that life perhaps isn’t that bad, and even with our daily struggles, it’s worth it to keep moving and fight every single day again.

In the middle is my „teenage self“, which would be around the age 12-16. Learning new emotions, discovering new diagnosises and realising that the world isn’t that bright as they tell you on TV. I drew them as I would draw myself online, as my persona with the devil horns and the red hoodie that became my avatar, since I spent most of my teenage years online. Either because I didn’t have any friends or because covid hit and we were forced to stay inside.

On the left you can see my „younger self“. She still sees the world with bright eyes and would never guess how much we change over the years. She still has the childlike innocence, and despite of having barely any friends, she makes the best out of it and thinks positively and optimistically.

My idea was that my „teenager self“ is comforting my „now“. They put their hand on my shoulder, indicating that it’s okay to not be okay. That not everything was our mistake, that we don’t have to blame everything on us and that we did try our best. It’s hard to accept the things we lost, but it’s important to feel every single emotion behind that loss. Behind the „teenager self“ is the „younger self“, hiding behind the „teenager self“. Both the „now“ and the „teenager self“ aren’t facing her, indicating the barrier they build up, not associating with her anymore. She’s looking over the „teenager self’s“ shoulder and is watching what we have become. She’s uncertain what the future will bring to us and if those two persons standing there are really us. She knows that we struggle sometimes, but seeing how dark her future appears to be makes her feel bitter. How can one look forward to growing up if they face so much pain and cruelty?

Close ups:

It would make more sense if my „teenager self“ would have blue hair here to make it more accurate to that time period they resemble, but I wasn’t paying attention while colouring it.